At the count down starts… July 3rd, 2009
Were buying are tickets tomorrow for our round the world trip!! The day is nearly here!!!! My god if I’m getting this excited about buying my tickets what am I gonna be like when we actually leave?
Thoughts June 30th, 2009
I’m not sure if I will actually publish this post but I’m gonna write it anyway!!
Do you ever feel like writing down all your thoughts sometimes so that you can empty your mind of everything for a few hours?
Today has been one of those days! I have sooo many ideas, questions, answers, reasons, feelings ect just flying around in my head at the moment!
I feel like taking them all out, sorting them through and only putting back the ones I need!!!
I’m not sure why I’m having such a hard time with this, I broke the bonds with a situation today that was becoming a bit difficult to control but now I feel really S**t about it! How did I let it get to this point? I can now see why dual roles really don’t work! It’s gonna be a hard few weeks but it needs to be done, it was taking over my life!
I really hope this sorts it’s self out! I’m not sure what else I can do, I’m happy about stepping away from the situation but im also really sad! I just hope it doesn’t change things too much! 
4 More days… June 30th, 2009
Till we book our tickets for our travelling!!!!
After 18 months of S**t we are actually at the point of booking our tickets!!!! It’s really going to happen!! Im sort of at that point where I’m excited but I’m holding back a bit because I can’t quite believe it’s actually happening!!!!
I just want the tickets in my hand now!!!
F**k it June 28th, 2009
F**k it…… F**k it…… F**k it!!!!
I bought a book on Saturday and have read it today! It was so inspiring that I couldn’t put it down so I just sat and read it from start to finish!! I even forgot to eat!! Oops!!
Anyway this book as you might have guessed by now is called F**k it (John C. Parkin) It’s apparently the “ultimate spiritual way” and I have to say I found it very inspiring, the theory behind it is that you shouldn’t let yourself get to attached to anything as when you start building up attachments you start building up emotions and get stressed etc…
Apparently by saying F**k it to all the situations in your life that way you down you actually free yourself up to start experiencing life! I only wish I had read the book a few years ago lol.
I can see his point though, since I have said F**k it to everything that is shit in my life I have become soooo much happier! It’s things like my job! I really hate it but F**k it there is no point moaning about it and there is nothing I can do about it untill I come back from travelling so why worry about it?
It’s a strange feeling to not let things annoy you and to just think that what will be will be! Having so much control over you life and setting goals all the time is so limiting! From now on I’m going with the flow of life and I’m not going to worry about it!
I do have to disagree with Parkin on one point though! He talks about loss & grief and that by saying F**k it to death that we can accept death and so that when someone close to us dies we can accept it and return to normal living in very little time! I have BIG issues with this! I have worked alot with loss & grief and there is currently a huge argument out there about whether someone can actually ever accept their loss and return to “normal” living!! What do you think? Lets just say for example that a mother has lost her child in a tragic accident, could that mother just say “F**k it” and accept it and get on with normal life? I very much doubt it! Some people would even go as far as saying that for as long as she lived she would never accept it!
Also if we were all to live a life with no or very few attachments wouldn’t that be a very lonely existence??
Apart from that I found that the book was very inspiring and it gave me a lot to think about. I would recommend it to everyone.
Light at the end of the tunnel?? June 25th, 2009
I really hope so!!!!
Looking back on the past 2 years I have had some very low points!! It’s been very hard to stay positive and carry on but I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m soooo happy!!
Over the last few weeks iv had lots of comments from people saying that I “look” different and that there is something very strange about me! I know exactly what they mean! I feel alive again and I’m loving life! I’m 100% debt free I have my own property that is being paid for by someone else! I have 13 weeks left at work till I go traveling around the world with my amazing hubby and I feel like all the stress from the past 2-3 years has just disappeared over night!!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not been easy!! There have been some very very low points where I have just wanted to give up on it all but I’m so glad I didn’t!
I have also made it very clear that when I come back from traveling that I will not under any circumstances go back to work at the cafe! Hubby and I have talked about it and he is happy for me not to work if I want to, we can go back to live in our flat and he can afford to support us both on his wage! Luckily his work are going to keep his job open for him!!
Life really is so good at the moment! I want it to stay like this! I feel like a teenager again, I’ve found myself doing things that I haven’t done for years!
Ghost Hunt @Alton Towers June 8th, 2009
Well then on Saturday I went on another ghost hunt! Iv been on nearly 20 now and I have got to say that this was the best one so far!!
We had lights turning on and off, doors closing on us and some other very odd things! One guy in our group felt like he was being strangled and when we turned the lights on he had a red mark around his neck!
Disney May 14th, 2009
Well I have just arrived back from Disney after a holiday with the family! There were 13 of us in total!!! It was my dads 60th birthday so we decided to mark it with a really nice family holiday!
The children have loved it! We stopped in a Disney hotel which I couldn’t fault one bit!! Well apart from the fact a gin and tonic cost £10!!
I really don’t want to go back to work now though! I really want to go off travelling right now, I don’t want to wait another 3 and a half months!!!
Update… 10 things im going to do this year April 30th, 2009
Well I thought I would give you all an update as to how it’s all going!
1. Go Traveling – we are off in September for 3 months!!
2. Buy another house – I keep looking but I think it’s best to just keep saving for now and buy something when we get back from traveling
3. Get a tattoo – I still can’t decide on a design
4. Change my job – I’m now doing 1 day a week as a reiki healer but I’m still stuck working in a job I hate but it pays the bills. I’m slowly going to start dropping days and start working more doing my reiki and counselling!
5. Be debt free (excluding mortages) I’m nearly there, I just have one last payment to make in a couple of weeks time!
6. Launch my online business – well it’s nearly there, just waiting on hubby to finish building it! Iv put up a display cabinet at the cafe and iv sold a fair bit of stuff already so I’m getting there!
7. Finally reach my goal weight – i’m not even close!! Very long way off still. I can’t get myself motivated to do it!
8. Pass my exam – I passed with flying colours
9. Take each day as it comes – I’m trying, I don’t worry as much anymore!
10. Love every second of it and have fun – well the opposite is true of this one! Im just trying to get by untill we leave to go travelling!
23 weeks and counting!!! April 20th, 2009
I have a whole 23 weeks left to wait till we go off traveling!! I’m not sure I can wait that long though!!
Living at my mums is killing me!! I might cave soon and buy a house instead! I was looking at a few yesterday and was very tempted! I really feel that I’m not going to last another 23 weeks and if I do I will end up not being the person that everyone knows. I’m already turning into a work, sleep, eat machine!! (especially the last one)
Please just get me out of here!!!!
Back on track March 23rd, 2009
I’m feeling much better today! I’m still in a bit of pain but I’m getting there!!
I have decided to get back on track today with my diet as well. I have a goal of my dads birthday in may to reach my next target! The whole family are off to Disney land and I want to look good in the photos! We leave on the 10th of may! I need to loose 30lbs by then! Hopefully I will do it!